Ever feel like you are just a star waiting to be born? Or that you’re just not where you should be? Or maybe you’re just have recurring problems you would like to get to the bottom of? We all have huge potential but sometimes we adopt behaviors that work against us, like pessimism, procrastination, fear, a desire to control everything or negative self-talk. What is holding us back and more importantly, what can we do to manage these issues and fulfill our potential in terms of our relationships, health, work and life in general? That’s what spiritual wellness advocate and founder of The Inner Bridge, Isabel Guliardo, will address today as she tells us about her upcoming workshop, “Shadow Work”, that will take place this June.
WM: Where does the concept of the “shadow” come from?
IG: It originates from Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. His theory was that some parts of our personality are in the conscious mind are in the light. But all the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that stand in the light also cast a shadow, which is in the subconscious. Shadows are parts of us we haven’t acknowledged because they contradict how we see ourselves. As kids, we get a lot of messages from society, culture, family, etc We try to adjust to them, and push away aspects of ourselves that are “unacceptable” while feeding and giving space to those that we’ve been taught to want.
What happens is that along the way, we lose core elements of our identity and/or suppress emotions or ways of being. This creates dissonance between who we truly are and how we see ourselves. For example, someone who see themselves as strong might tolerate or accept the fact they have a weakness somewhere in their life – they’re like, “this is me and that is not me”. We try to create clear cut lines about feelings and that’s just not how it works. This can occur with fear, anger, or all sorts of emotions that are deemed “bad” but also taboo topics like sexual curiosity and our relationship with money.
WM: So are shadows our bad side?
IG: No, not at all. This can also happen with strengths or talents that are buried in our subconscious because they weren’t “suitable”. An example could be that of a creative and unstructured person who grew up in a family where pragmatism and order were valued above all. As a child, while they were constantly making up stories and expressing themselves in imaginative ways, the parents may have sent signals indicating their behavior wasn’t desirable: not laughing or understanding their jokes, encouraging them to be more serious in order to succeed in life, it could even have been subtle messages like intonations, a sigh or a look. This probably wasn’t done consciously and if it was, they probably meant well; but a likely result is that the child’s imaginative side got suppressed as a shadow because it was interpreted as inadequate. Everyone has different types of intelligence – logical, interpersonal, naturalist (nature smart),kinesthetic (good with their bodies), musical, etc – but these gifts can end up as a shadow if you grow up in an environment that doesn’t recognize them as such.
WM: How can someone tell what their shadows are?
IG: They aren’t necessarily just one emotion or personality trait that you can instantly recognize. They live in the subconscious and have a life of their own, so they often show up and get channelled elsewhere without you realizing. They bubble up to the surface as addictions, emotional triggers or automatic reactions which may be justified but a bit exaggerated. They can also appear as projections onto someone else. For example, if you were raised in an environment where expressing sadness was frowned upon, you might struggle with this feeling and it can come out as a projection onto others, where you react in a judgemental way to somebody who expresses it. We see this all the time. Shadow work requires quite a bit of time and specific techniques. In our workshop, we go through a lot of exercises, activities and tests to identify and learn how to manage our shadows.
WM: What are the benefits of doing shadow work and who can it help?
IG: It shines a light on our unconscious behaviours and enables us to understand our reactions better. Many individuals want to understand what is stopping them from fulfilling their full potential, whether it is relating to their career, relationships or life in general. We all have these recurring patterns in life: constantly falling in love with the wrong men/women, always having problems with authority figures at work or elsewhere, often behaving like a victim, always blaming others, never finishing anything, having commitment issues, always wanting to be right, etc Everyone’s got something. So when you identify and acknowledge these shadows, you will observe and understand them better. And when you get better at self-observing, you will develop this ability to interpret in real time what parts of your reactions/feelings stem from insecurities and what parts are actually true. As that happens, the shadow will tend to drive you less and instead, your wisdom on what is right vs wrong will take over. In a nutshell, shadow work allows you to take responsibility for your behavior and act on it.
People who come to my workshop also find it really useful because once you have these mechanisms in mind, you improve your understanding of people around you and why they do the things they do. This is helpful in your interactions with others, at work or in your personal life.
WM: How does the workshop work?
IG: People enroll to four 2-hour sessions that span over the course of a month.
I spend some time at the beginning introducing everyone to shadow work. Then we look at identifying our own shadows, good and bad, using a variety of exercises and approaches in order to bring awareness to our unconscious behaviours and patterns. All the sessions are quite dynamic, people move around a lot and get engaged. I design them like that because experiential learning is just more effective, the insights you come out with will really stick better.
There are around 10-12 people per workshop, a mix of men and women, a lot of them in their 30s and 40s, all with different backgrounds. This offers many perspectives and inputs, which is great. It is beautiful to see the strong sense of empathy, trust and support that develops throughout the month.
Shadow work worshop practical information
Dates and times: Wednesdays, June 6,13,20 and 27, from 7 to 9pm
Venue: The Greens
Register here >>
Tel: 0555354702
Email: isabel@theinnerbridge.com
Isabel Galiardo, Counsellor and Founder of The Inner Bridge
Inner Bridge runs private sessions, weekly workshops and retreats around Mindfulness, Relationships and Mind Wellness. If you would like to know more information, please consult contact her directly at isabel@theinnerbridge.com
